Thursday, November 4, 2010

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday, January 17, 2010

GURU JIB MANTRA

Thus have I heard, upon a time Guru Jib in Boleh Land with a great company of Disciples…..

Disciple: How do we deal with all these allegations and accusations??

Guru Jib: Ignore and Deny
Disciple: What if all these allegations and accusations are true???

 

Guru Jib: Ignore, Deny and Cover-up
Disciple: What if we failed to fool these people.
Guru Jib: Follow me and recite this Mantra diligently……



Om Ignore, Ignore
Om Deny, Deny
Om Cover-up, Cover-up
Om Buy time, Buy time
Intimidate, Intimidate Svaha!!

What a Corrupted Governmant of Malaysia !

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Ninth Vow of Bodhisattva Samantabhadra



May Malaysia be Blessed with Leaders that have the Quality of Bodhisattva


AVATAMSAKA SUTRA, chapter 40 (Excerpts), a Mahayana Buddhist Sutra

The Ninth Vow of Bodhisattva Samantabhadra

"Sudhana, to accommodate and benefit all living beings is explained like this: throughout the oceans of worlds in the ten directions exhausting the Dharma Realm and the realm of empty space, there are many different kinds of living beings. That is to say, there are those born from eggs, the womb-born, the transformationally born, as well as those who live and rely on earth, water, fire, and air for their existence. There are beings dwelling in space, and those who are born in and live in plants and trees. This includes all the many species and races with their diverse bodies, shapes, appearances, lifespans, families, names, and natures. This includes their many varieties of knowledge and views, their various desires and pleasures, their thoughts and deeds, and their many different deportments, clothing and diets.

"It includes beings who dwell in different villages, towns, cities and palaces, as well as gods, dragons, and others of the eight divisions, humans and non-humans alike. Also there are footless beings, beings with two feet, four feet, and many feet, with form and without form, with thought and without thought, and not entirely with thought and not entirely without thought. I will accord with and take care of all these many kinds of beings, providing all manner of services and offerings for them. I will treat them with the same respect I show my own parents, teachers, elders, Arhats, and even the Thus Come Ones. I will serve them all equally without difference.

"I will be a good doctor for the sick and suffering. I will lead those who have lost their way to the right road. I will be a bright light for those in the dark night, and cause the poor and destitute to uncover hidden treasures." The Bodhisattva impartially benefits all living beings in this manner.

"Why is this? If a Bodhisattva accords with living beings, then he accords with and makes offerings to all Buddhas. If he can honor and serve living beings, then he honors and serves the Thus Come Ones. If he makes living beings happy, he is making all Thus Come Ones happy. Why is this? It is because all Buddhas, Thus Come Ones, take the Mind of Great Compassion as their substance. Because of living beings, they develop Great Compassion. From Great Compassion the Bodhi Mind is born; and because of the Bodhi Mind, they accomplish Supreme, Perfect Enlightenment.

"It is like a great regal tree growing in the rocks and sand of barren wilderness. When the roots get water, the branches, leaves, flowers, and fruits will all flourish. The regal bodhi-tree growing in the wilderness of Birth and Death is the same. All living beings are its roots; all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are its flowers and fruits. By benefitting all beings with the water of Great Compassion, one can realize the flowers and fruits of the Buddhas' and Bodhisattvas' wisdom.

"Why is this? It is because by benefitting living beings with the water of Great Compassion, the Bodhisattvas can attain Supreme, Perfect Enlightenment. Therefore, Bodhi belongs to living beings. Without living beings, no Bodhisattva could achieve Supreme, Perfect Enlightenment.

"Good man, you should understand these principles in this way: When the mind is impartial towards all living beings, one can accomplish full and perfect Great Compassion. By using the Mind of Great Compassion to accord with living beings, one perfects the making of offerings to the Thus Come Ones. In this way the Bodhisattva constantly accords with living beings.

"Even when the realm of empty space is exhausted, the realms of living beings are exhausted, the karma of living beings is exhausted, and the afflictions of living beings are exhausted, I will still transfer all merits and virtues endlessly, continuously, in thought after thought without cease. My body, mouth and mind never weary of these deeds.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

DIED IN CUSTODY


Long Distance Call from YB of the Boleh Land  to the Death Enforcment Officer of the Underworld for the deceased.
Death officer: Hello YB, what can I do for you?

YB: As usual, I have another guy died in custody. I want you to lock him up and don't ever let him come out to haunt us. Please make sure he can't make appeal in your underworld.


Death officer: No problem! As long as you pay me well. But what if he went to heaven? I heard that the one from the MACC and the one that was blown into pieces have gone to Heaven.

YB: I am not worried at all. Don't you know that I have very good connection in heaven too? I will call them later.

Death officer: Can I have more from the Immigration Detention Camp?

YB: I will try ... but some might go to Heaven and I may have to improve the condition in the detention camp cos' the people are watching closely now.




Sunday, September 20, 2009

Malaysian F1 Team


We are so proud of our Malaysian F1 team's Big Hats, Big Helmets, Big Caps and SMALL Heads ....




Thursday, September 17, 2009

BN to the People

Umno to the Malays : You are weak ...You need our protection and Malaysia is ours!


MCA to the Chinese: We are very independent... We have to take care of ourselves and the World can be ours!


MIC to the Indians: We are smart but we are still poor and we need SAMY more than the World!



Saturday, September 12, 2009

PKFZ Scandal Task Force

Pricewaterhouse coopers (PWC) to...... Commitee of Corporate Governance by Port Klang Authority (PKA) to ......



Special Task Force by Ministry of Transport to ...... MACC to......




High-powered Task Force by cabinet to ....


Case Closed!


Share it with your contacts if you find this blog interesting.


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Pig-Cow-Heads in the Town Hall

We tried to wrap the dead and dirty Pig-head with the flag and threw it to the mosque, it didn't work ...

We tried stepping and kicking the bloody Cow-Head infront of the Selangor state secretariat building , it didn't work either......
Then we tried to use these Pig-Cow-Heads in the Town hall, but it still didn't work!
Boss, should we use Human-head for next ...?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Dancing with the Cow Head

Hisham! You must protect us from the law- sedition act and the angry people! I didn't expect large majority of the Malays are against us too. I thought we were all their heroes. Now! You tell me how do I deal with this Cow Head ??? 

Hmmm....let me think ...Instead of putting the cow head under your foot, you should put it on your head to show respect and dance like a lion dance, cos' that will make Chinese happy too. That's the spirit of One Malaysia!


I urge the Government to Deal with Racism before it gets under the skin of everyone.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Suicide in MACC

Next Please!
 
Come on...this window is too small for me lah!

Guidelines for Committing Suicide:

  1. Regardless of whether you are guilty or just a witness, all guidelines must be observed. 
  2. Must stay overnight in the building.
  3. Avoid the CCTV.
  4. Do it from 14th floor.
  5. Do it before 6:30am preferably
  6. No need to sign any documents after the interrogation ended and allowing to leave.
  7. No need to go home, just take a good rest on the sofa before doing it.
  8. No need to take along your Car Key.
  9. No need to take along your mobile phone.
  10. It is ok to leave child porn in your mobile phone to me if you are a Man. 
  11. Leave behind your Laptop for us to create evidence.
  12. Wear DNA proof belt.
  13. Wear DNA proof clothing
  14. Wear good quality Watch, preferably with leather strap.
  15. Do not make call to anyone.
  16. Do not eat anything 10-12 hours before doing it.
  17. Do not leave any fingerprint.
  18. Do not leave any shoesprint.
  19. Squat down carefully on the window edge without touching the window frame.
  20. Be careful not to tear the pant.
  21. Be careful not to damage the shoes and wear tightly, preferably with shoe ties.
  22. Body must lay on the right side upon hitting the ground.
  23. Control the amount of blood from the head to the minimum, preferably no blood.
  24. Not to get married tomorrow.
  25. Not to have an unborn child.
  26. No Haunting, nothing can scare me because I am well protected by my master.


May this merit I have accumulated
benefit the late Teoh Beng Hock
May he be well and attain perfect peace.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Do No Evil

The people can be very smart, i must make sure they fall into it .....



Hmmm... no one can find out now..

“It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe that lures him to evil ways. All that we are is the result of what we have thought. A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity. Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them. There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting.”
Quotes by the Lord Buddha


Do Not Steal

I have to be smarter than the people .. I must make sure no one can find out ....

Hmmm..it is safe now...

The five precepts are the most fundamental rules that good Buddhist should observe. 1) Do not Kill 2) Do not steal 3) Do not engage in sexual misconduct 4) Do not lie or make false speech 5) Do not consume intoxicants.

Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, energy, and material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.

By a Zen Master

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Do Not Believe

Is there a Cover up?
 Is he sincere?

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.

Lord Buddha - Kalama Sutra

You are welcome to put in your own words for the above cartoons.